I’m going to do my best not to apologise whilst I write this, because let’s be honest. I’ve spent most of this year apologising for my lack of posts, lack of interaction, lack of art, lack of products, lack of… me.
The truth is, this year has broken me a bit. After the last few crazy years and pushing through and staying strong, 2022 brought an intense kind of burn out that has wiped me out. For the past few years, for various reasons, I have been fighting to keep everything going and to keep my business alive and a happy place full of goodies to make people smile and bring a bit of light to the world.
I’m stubborn by nature, so naturally, when faced with this challenge, I jumped head first and fought back. It worked. Of course it worked! If you have the motivation and the passion, you can achieve it, but of course, it has come at a price. After over two years of this mega work and pushing and creating and after a year of health ups and downs and my mental health taking a bad turn, I now find myself a bit tired.
But again, I’m not going to apologise even though I feel as though I should. I am also not writing this for sympathy or anything else. I don’t tend to share much personal stuff with the world, as I am not fantastic at words. That’s why I mostly stick to pictures, but I just feel like I need to get this out.
This is the first year I haven’t had a new Christmas collection. I didn’t have many new autumn designs really either. I took on so much custom work. I was working all the hours possible on that and I’m now here realising that I have no time for new art and to be honest, I’ve been working on some BIG projects that have left me a little bit low on creative juices. I’m struggling to even paint or draw for myself at the moment. But again, that’s due to burn out.
I’ve had to make the tough decision this year to actually take a step back and prioritise myself and my health over my business, which again feels weird, but it’s also necessary. I’m actually feeling nervous even writing this because it feels wrong to write it down here. Like admitting I need to take a break is a bad thing. It really isn’t, but it feels so wrong. I feel like I should be pushing more and creating and doing more and just going back to how I was before, but at the same time, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to go back to that version of myself is to actually take a break.
So this year there will be no new artwork or designs for the festive season and I will be closing both of my shops on December 15th. My last postage day will be December 16th and then I will be closed until the new year and hopefully a long break over Christmas will allow me to recharge and regain the energy I need to run my business.
It’s not personal, it’s not a cry for help. It’s an artist looking after herself for once and making sure she’s ready for all the fun the new year holds. Because I might not have managed to get all my new ideas ready this year but you can guarantee I’ll have them ready next year. And that feels bad too. Oh it’s so hard when you have so much you want to do but you’re just too tired to get there! My head is so full of new ideas that are so exciting but my body just wants to rest. Again, burn out.
But these new ideas are ready for the new year once I’ve recharged and have my muse back!
I just want to add a huge thank you to everyone who has stuck with me for the past few years and all the new faces and friends I’ve made. You remind me why I do this crazy job in the first place and in all honesty this job is one of my biggest passions. It’s a huge part of who I am and I am unbelievably grateful for everything I have with this business. I’m hoping to do a year round up post in December and you can guarantee it’s going to be overflowing with gratitude!
Thank you if you read this far and thank you for supporting me and my artwork!
Maybe throughout December I can do a few fun things and posts but for now I’m just going to take things one day at a time. I think that’s a good way to go for the rest of the year. Small steps and one day at a time.
Have a fantastic week!
Also if what I’ve written about today sounds familiar, you may be feeling the burn out too! If so please remember to look after yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup is so painfully true. Don’t be like me and wait until you’re completely exhausted before looking after yourself. Remember to recharge!